THE SHOCKING AND COMPELLING LIFESTORY OF BALZAX, CAT OF DEATH

Note: this is a revised version of Balzax' lifestory as seen on MK5.org. I've changed it here and there to make sure it doesn't conflict with John's storyline from MK Mopologies.

Balzax' exact lifespan is a mystery. It is believed he is as old as the Elder gods, if not older. In an age long forgotten, Balzax was ruler of the Netherealm. Many of the demons that resided there hoped to take the cat's throne for themselves, but none succeeded. Until Lucifer came. This vicous manbitch forced Balzax' soul to be reborn - in the body of a kitten on Outworld. And so Lucifer took control of the Netherealm.

Balzax was reborn in Edenia then, when it was attacked by Shao Kahn. Kahn just adopted his puppy Scrotums then, and decided to take Balzax in his home too. The rightful ruler of Edenia was killed and Kahn took his queen, Sindel, as his bride. Disgusted as she was of the man, she turned to his pet cat Balzax. But Kahn soon caught them in a compromising position (to say it lightly), and ordered his minion Baraka to neuter Balzax. When this was done, Balzax vowed revenge upon Kahn...

Knowing that Kahn would one day strike at Earth, Balzax formed an army to face him there... A clan of warriors known as the Lin Kuei. But the Lin Kuei became corrupted, thus Balzax sent off his best warrior, Takeda, to form his own clan. Just after Balzax left, he learned a new powerful warrior had joined the Lin Kuei. His name was John. Balzax hoped to enlist the help of this warrior, but he was soon kidnapped by Shao Kahn. His Shirai Ryu clan of ninjas would have to do the trick now...

The evil sorcerer Quan Chi messed up his plans. He enlisted the help of Sub-Zero and destroyed the Shirai Ryu. Balzax would first have to prevent Shinnok from rising again... Upon turning Sareena to his side and having her aid Sub-Zero, Balzax left a present for Shinnok in his boots... a present, which he would not detect, until the final battle...

Distracted and hugely disgusted by this present, Shinnok left himself open to attack, and Sub-Zero managed to steal back the amulet. Earth was safe... for now.

Balzax joined the Shaolin, becoming one of their fiercest warriors. He erected the White Lotus society, where he trained a young man named Kung Lao to face the Outworlders (actually, he was called Kung Meaow, but he changed his name to hide his allegiance with Balzax). The plan succeeded, and
Outworld lost... until Goro came along.

Realising not even his best warrior, Liu Kang, would be able to defeat the Shokan, Balzax snuck into Goro's bedroom and gave him fleas. The next day, Goro was so tired by lack of sleep because he was scratching all the time, Kang defeated him with ease. Liu was then nearly defeated by Shang Tsung, were it not for John the Janitor. He had joined Balzax' forces and won mortal kombat. Alas, after this he disappeared, believed to have been capture by Kahn and turned into a cyberninja/prostitute.

At this time, the warrior Sub-Zero has discovered Balzax' presence and plans, so Balzax had Scorpion kill him personally. To mask this action, he returned to the Lin Kuei to complete the training of the best Lin Kuei warriors: the younger Sub-Zero, Smoke, Sektor and Cyrax.

Returning to Shao Kahn's side, the cat discovered he had a new plan: to lure the Earthlings into his own realm, to kill them himself. But facing Earth's deadliest warriors was too much for Kahn, especially since Balzax had intentionally urinated on all his food, leaving him with a nasty infection.

At this point, Balzax left off to do war with Shinnok, and conquer the Netherealm. Together with his guard Scorpion, his general Fat Satan and his Archjanitor John, the war begins… Until something happens that demands Balzax’ attention.

The illegal move Kahn made was an unexpected one - raising Sindel from the dead, and stepping into Earth realm. But Balzax foresaw it, and initiated the cyberninja project in the Lin Kuei, masking it by proclaiming it to be an automated prostitution program. Balzax stood ready to face Shao Kahn with
an army of automated cyberninja-prostitutes.

After the Outworld invasion, Balzax traversed the Earth realm in search of Liu Kang and Kung Meaow II. Coming into conflict with the warrior Kabal, Balzax dealt him with a vicious claw in the face, teaching him to mind his own business. The cat then smuggled the two Shaolins into Outworld in his fur, allowing them to deal the final blow to Kahn - destroying him.

Thus Balzax can return to his queen Sindel and live in the palace as her feline gigolo. He also becomes Edenia's ambassador. On one occasion, his daughter with Sindel, Tanya, allows Shinnok entrance into the realm. At the same time, Balzax’ Archjanitor John accidently threw out all of Balzax’ mint condition Bee Gees 8-tracks. This lead to a short, but devastating fight in MK4. Later they made up again, and they could finish the battle against Shinnok. After dealing with Shinnok alongside the Earth warriors, Balzax severely punishes Tanya: he tells her she's grounded for 10,000 years, takes away all her credit cards and viciously gnaws her in half.

But what happens next, even Balzax cannot foresee...

TO BE CONTINUED... IN MK 5.