You fuck with Adam & Burt, you end up takin' a dirt nap.
Crash & Bass BitchMapZ Utterly Random Fish Fingers Cli-Maxx Theatre Pr Pimps the Crackahz Cribpage Project Duffy DaddyQuest AWOS the Champions About FM
Behold! The power of FM flows in the minds of these legendary warriors. Each of them possesses fabled skills in the field of web design, programming, animation, and/or allround entertainment, as well as a magical ring that represents the raw power of an animal from the Chinese zodiac. When combined, these rings spawn Mario van Peebles. That isn't to say nothing spectacular happens when they're on their own, though.
Name: Juns Dierkens, aka FatSatan
Age: 21,000
Home: the Netherlands
Animal / Power: German Shepherd / Flame Breath
Favorite nut: Hazel

Origin: FatSatan's earliest memory is washing up on the shores of western Europe with no idea who he was, where he came from, or why he was wearing a pair of electric blue hotpants that read "dy-no-mite" across the ass. Seeking a new purpose, he turned to the ways of web-based joy in order to one day be as great as the three legendary Bobs of entertainment: Hope, Barker and Saget. Oh well, at least he's got one of them covered.

Projects:
[ the Mortal Kombat Mopologies Homepage ]
[ Ruins of the Outerworld ]
Name: Krypton Dog
Age: Second trimester
Home: Texas
Animal / Power: Albino Frog / Audiokinesis
Favorite nut: Pistachio

Origin: As a roadie, Krypton Dog toured with all the greats: Right Said Fred, Frankie Goes To Hollywood, Dr. Alban. Tired of the long trips and almost constant homosexual prepositioning, he one night drove the entire Culture Club into a ditch. Only he and Boy George survived the crash. Climbing out of the ruined van, he spent two grueling hours learning to walk all over again. He turned to a quiet life of web design and coding, though the urge to transport drunk rock stars still burns in his loins from time to time.

Projects:
[ Mortal Kombat Shin ]
[ Sinewaves.org ]
[ Weblog ]
Name: ACJ
Age: Infinity + 1
Home: the Netherlands
Animal / Power: Gum / Summon Tornado
Favorite nut: Hazel

Origin: It is rumored that Jesus Christ had a son. And that son's nephew's grandmother's sister's hairdresser's mailman's friend Bobby once met ACJ's college roommate. Touched by this power, ACJ was destined to become the Chosen One, leading in the field of web design, coding, and many other art forms. Men don't understand him, women want him for his personality. He has a powerful weapon, he charges a million a shot.

Projects:
[ ACJ's Net ]
[ Mortal Kombat Kourier ]
[ Weblog ]
Name: Dominosr
Age: 62 quadniks
Home: Virginia
Animal / Power: Tori Spelling / Cybernetic Ankles
Favorite nut: Left

Origin: In the year 2008, a meteorite will strike earth and envelop the western hemisphere in a cloud of dust for aeons. Upon examining it, we will discover two things - 1) that it's actually a giant Werther's Original and 2) that in its hollow center, a dormant creature by the name of Dominosr lives. His skills in Flash will puzzle scientists for years to come. Wait, did I say "puzzle scientists for years to come"? I meant "cause scientists to come for years".
Name: Garret
Age: 13 + 26.7 / 8Y (carry the 1)
Home: Texas
Animal / Power: Centipede / We Don't Know
Favorite nut: Hazel

Origin: Accidentally abandoned at a feminist emu farm by his parents as a baby, Garret grew up to be spite-filled and to harbor a fanatical aversion towards bodily hair. He escaped his traumatic childhood by joining a travelling circus of artists all suffering from Down's Syndrome as Smoothboy, the amazing hairless acrobat. A horrible accident involving a match and a poorly ventilated port-a-potty left him scarred beyond recognition, unable to perform publicly anymore. In his bitterness he took to the Internet, where he honed his skills in coding.

Projects:
[ Garret.tv ]
Name: The Purple Bunny
Age: 9 1/2 weeks
Home: Georgia
Animal / Power: Albatross / Omnipresence
Favorite nut: Hazel

Origin: Chris made a name for himself in the Special Arms division of the military, where he was renowned especially for his forearms. When he was caught trying on his superior officer's Christmas socks, he was dishonorally discharged and sent home. Soon he met a 50 ft tall robot named Blinky and a chocolate bunny that can't talk, and the three of them went on a journey to discover true friendship. Near the end of this journey they realized that they had found true friendship all along... then Chris ate the bunny and Blinky died of rust. And Chris coded and programmed happily ever after.

Projects:
[ Weblog ]
Name: Brandogg
Age: He Won't Tell Us
Home: Florida
Animal / Power: Goldfish / Bowel Quake
Favorite nut: Hazel

Origin: Of course, Brandogg needs no introduction. Star of stage and screen, four-time second place in New Zealand Jeopardy, and the thing with the kids and the basement and the tapes. After his marriage to Vanna White went down in flames, he was last seen boarding a plane to the Bermuda Triangle. By all accountable logic he should be dead by now, but is he? Is he really?
Name: ElderGodsmack
Age: Bronze
Home: Texas
Animal / Power: Dick Clark / Summon Dick Clark
Favorite nut: Hazel

Origin: As we speak, EGS is doing swimsuit photoshoots in Malibu, in preparation of contending for the title Most Beautiful Man in the World 2004. The competition is murder, but we have high hopes that he will do the right thing and sleep with the judges. In the mean time, we're keeping his seat warm at the nuclear weapons console. Let's just pray his ability to code and program will be enough to defend the rights of the free world... or God have mercy on us all.
Name: BMK
Age: Forty days and forty nights
Home: Earth
Animal / Power: Vole / Collect Nuts & Berries
Favorite nut: Hazel

Origin: BMK is blonde.


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